I can’t believe I’ve gone so long without posting anything. It’s been a very unproductive month for me all around. Sales are way down (nonexistent, to be honest). My website is stagnant (does anybody even go there anymore?). I’ve barely even touched my Facebook page (no friends). I blame it on germs. Stupid, dirty, microscopic, irritating germs.
I’ve been sick for almost a month now. At first I thought it was the flu. And maybe it was the flu. Who knows? It felt like the flu, with all the aching and the weakness and the fever and the chills and the whining. But then the aching and the weakness and the fever and the chills all got better. (Not so much the whining, though, no.) And then there was the sore throat. Worst I’ve ever had! Swallowing was so painful! At this point I’m complaining and moaning as well as whining. (You cannot imagine how miserable my poor wife must have been!) Eventually, I decided to dig out a flashlight and peek at my throat to see if I looked as bad as I felt. Yuck. That wasn’t a pretty sight. No wonder I couldn’t eat anything. My tonsils looked as big as golf balls! I was surprised I could even breathe! By this time it seemed obvious that I needed to go see my doctor.
A sinus infection and strep throat. Wonderful. But at least I can actually start recovering now. A few days into my two weeks of heavy antibiotics and I began to feel better. I got up and got a few chores done. Normality seemed almost inevitable. Then I got sick again. A deep, heavy cough. Runny nose. Weariness. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed. And by now my wife is way over that whole “you poor guy” phase so I’m pretty much on my own.
And don’t think for a second that the kids haven’t taken advantage of my misfortune. I fell asleep on the couch while my wife was at work and apparently missed a rampaging horde of destructive goblins and trolls tearing through the house. There are toys and laundry scattered across the floor, along with the day's mail. I found the electric bill sticking out of the litter box of all places. All the sheets and blankets from my daughter’s bed are in the dining room. I’m pretty sure that’s cat food in the dryer. There’s a banana peel in the printer. The toilet’s clogged. There’s a pair of pants hanging from the ceiling fan in the kitchen. For some reason, the cat won’t come down out of the top of the closet and all the spoons are missing from the utensil drawer… I can’t seem to find them anywhere… They even tore my bookshelf off the wall in the living room! I don’t understand. I was only asleep for a little while. How do they do it? It’s like they have mystical, destructive powers that only work when I close my eyes.
That cough just refuses to go away, but I’m gradually regaining my strength. I’ve gotten back to work, both on my chores and on my writing. I should be able to get back up to speed here on the blog and hopefully I’ll get a chance to update my website soon, too. I’ve even made it through Easter. It should be all downhill from here…assuming I can keep up with the little monsters…